Dear prospective student,
Welcome to ThiccThighs Academy, the youngest venerable institution in California. We built the crest first and the parking lot later, and everything we have done since has been an attempt to deserve the crest. You are reading this letter because you are considering joining that attempt. Good. Consideration is the first discipline we teach.
Our motto is Forma Audax. Visio Culta. Femori Terminus Nullus — bold form, cultured vision, no limit to the thigh. Visitors sometimes laugh at the third clause. They are permitted to. The clause is serious anyway. It means that strength is not something we apologize for here, in the squat rack or in the seminar room, and that the limit of what you can carry — books, arguments, teammates, yourself up 214 stairs — has not yet been found.
We built the crest first. Everything since has been an attempt to deserve it.
What we will expect of you is simple to state. Read closely. Train honestly. Recover properly. Bring food to share and questions you actually want answered. Stand behind your work in public, and when a housemate is under a heavy week, take a corner of it. The houses will teach you the rest; they always do, usually in the dining hall.
What you may expect of us: faculty who end critique on time, a registrar who corrects the record only in ink, a dining hall that considers rationing a pedagogical failure, and an institution that will take you seriously from the day you arrive — which is, we find, the thing students wanted all along.
Tours run Fridays at 10 a.m. The stairs are included. Wear whatever lets you climb.
Femori terminus nullus,
Dr. Augusta Ferro
Dean of the Academy
- Office
- Upper hall, past the stairs
- Office hours
- Posted, kept
- Motto compliance
- Full